13 weeks post partum
Blocked, medals, time warps
If you’re following this blog and maybe you’re expecting your first, or even your second soon, I’m sorry if last weeks confession wasn’t what you wanted to hear.
But no one failed over here.
And of course, with struggles and lows, there are also so many positives. Many highs.
And things that you’re suddenly capable of that you didn’t think were possible.
Just before Matt was due to go back to work, I didn’t know how I was going to cook and serve dinner on my own. Olivia seemed to need everything at the same time as everything else was happening. It seem chaotic.
It was even a nightmare with the both of us, two adults, on hand.
But I figured it out. I wouldn’t say dinner time is always smooth or easy, but what seemed impossible is now something I achieve everyday.
I also had no idea how I would bath Freyja.
I couldn’t comprehend how I would get through a toddler bath time with a baby.
I thought maybe Freyja might just not wash while Matt is working away and we’d just have to draw a line under it.
Again, another impossibility is now something I just do every single night without batting an eye lid.
It’s easy to completely over look these small triumphs because literally no one is coming to congratulate you for feeding your kids and giving the little grubbets a wash.
These tasks are so completely taken for granted that no medals are awarded to the parent who navigated dinner, bath times and bed times with multiple children of different ages.
So this week marked the first time I got blocked by someone on Instagram for trying to let them know a product they were advertising was misleading.
These conversations are never easy to navigate, you can kill someone kindness, plead to their rational side and offer to give up your own time to help them understand but it doesn’t always land right.
When these things go sour, I have a tendency to blame myself. Did I say it wrong? Was I rude? Did I overstep?
But how do we combat harmful narratives and misinformation if we just sit idly by?
I want my content to give people the best possible information. I want the evidence to speak for itself so that I never have to punch down or trash other personal trainers or professionals.
And my messages were not to trash that social media agency for advertising the product. It’s about fair marketing.
I don’t care about belly bands, or birddogs or anything else. I care about what people say about them.
I care about false claims.
Someone can sell belly bands without misleading people. There are things to be said about belly bands that are true.
‘Some postpartum women find wearing a belly band to be supportive and comfortable’.
This is not a false statement. It is a truth.
You could sell belly bands with the disclaimer that they do absolutely nothing and someone would STILL buy one because some people will buy anything.
And that’s fine.
I don’t care about the band. If they worked I would tell you. I think what some people don’t realise is that I am not selling an alternative.
I make zero money or profit from telling you a product does or does not work.
Science is impartial and yes, sometimes my disdain for an industry that is built on lies and profits from peoples insecurities does bleed into my content.
I can’t help it. Bitter old fitness bitch.
But the science doesn’t lie and ultimately that’s all I’m interested in communicating.
I want people to be able to trust their bodies a little more. Feel more confident.
This in itself will improve outcomes and will improve people’s experiences.
So I just want to end this by saying thank you to everyone who messaged to confirm that our friend Gemma over at Babasocial was indeed, rude.
I have taken away more lessons on how to approach people and hopefully it’ll come back round to bite her in the butt - as she believes she doesn’t need anyone’s advice or feedback.
Which is a very small and limited way to live.
It was revealed this week that meta is introducing meta verified. You can read about it more here:
What this means for small businesses and creators is that if they can’t afford to, or simply don’t want to, pay for the privilege of having a verified account, that they will be disproportionately disadvantaged compared to the accounts that will pay.
This is why all the likes and shares of my Instagram page mean the world to me.
Growth is painfully slow, with my main followers being business coaches that swiftly unfollow after I ignore their sales pitch DMs.
I think the best way to get people interested in my account (especially if they’re a personal trainer who would benefit from better information) is just to be like ‘hey, this post is interesting. You should check out the content of @amysnellingpt’
That way, you’re not saying they’re right or wrong. I’m not saying they’re right or wrong. But you’re just peaking interest.
When my account is bigger, people like our friend Gemma will be compelled to listen because influence is the currency she deals in.
It’s shit that it comes down to that, but those hardest to reach or those wanting to bury their heads will be more likely to listen to an account with more influence.
Speaking of which, if you can spare 5 minutes to nominate me for an active pregnancy foundation award I would be eternally grateful. Category: pre and post natal instructor
You can do that here: vote
Booking a holiday with young children really does put time in perspective. Last year before Olivia was born, we booked a Butlins break for April. It was weird to think back then how life would be different when we finally take the holiday.
We can’t afford much right now in the way of holidays but we did just book another self catering break for august with my mum and dad. U.K. holidays are still a little cheaper and easier for us at the moment but even still, by the time august rolls round Olivia will be eating food in a high chair. She will be crawling and pulling herself up on things.
It’s so crazy to think about and it also hammers home how quickly time passes in these first few years.
I’m feeling a sense of fitness smuggery this week as I made it to running club and CrossFit. It’s annoying that exercise can make you feel that way, but here we are. I feel good. I can’t deny it.
It’s a short and sweet recommendation from me today. Someone asked me the other day what nappies I’m currently using on Olivia and Freyja as they both sleep all night. In the interest of saving money, we recently switched from pampers to Fred and Flo from Tesco as that’s our closest supermarket.
Olivia wears the size 3 baby nappies and Freyja is in the size 6/7 nappy pants. Freyja has never had a leak at night, Olivia has had a couple but this is only when I’ve not pulled it up her back enough. Plus, as soon as we sized up from 2 to 3 this stopped happening. So yes, I’d highly recommend. They’ve worked fine for us and are a fraction of the cost.
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